on modesty.

An open letter to women everywhere:

I'd like to speak on behalf of the men of the body of Christ. Let me start by apologizing. The conversation about modesty has largely been handled very badly by men, myself included. We can be harsh, insensitive, and unfair. I've heard numerous female friends of mine say that they have felt guilty, restricted, judged, and all around burdened, as if the weight of controlling the desires of men hangs over them at all times. Let me apologize on behalf of myself and the men of the church. I'm sorry. That's not your burden to bear and it is wrong of us to put that on you.
That being said, I feel that we as men often walk away leaving you feeling as if you have to battle our temptations for us. It's a touchy subject for everybody and as a result discussing it often ends in hurt, offended, and irritated men and women walking away having not accomplished anything. And while I do have my opinions on the subject, I don't believe it is my place to tell you where your responsibility is or is not. So I want to approach this from a different angle. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to try to earnestly express where I, and many men, are coming from. Please understand that the only reason we insist on talking about modesty is that you are precious to us. We as humans, and human men at that, are fighting daily to love you in a God honoring way. Our intention is never to burden you with our responsibilities.
You've heard people tell you how men are pigs. That we are sex-crazed, and we only have one thing on our mind. But you should also know that many of us are genuinely pursuing a Christ-like attitude towards women and sexuality. We are struggling to block out the world and the sex culture that constantly berates us from all sides. It's a constant battle. The Bible tells us that we are to love our wives as Christ loved us. I may not be married, but as a single Christian guy who does one day intend to be married, I am striving to be that kind of man. But I am imperfect. I am sinful and I am "a full time fool who occasionally dabbles in getting it right" (Scott Evans, Failing from the Front). I am locked in a lifelong battle against my sin nature as I strive to live in a way that glorifies God and His creation.
It's a new battle everyday. Some days I win, and some days I feel as if I've been beaten to a pulp and ruthlessly ravaged until it's all I can do to crawl back into bed and pray for the strength to rise again in the morning. Sexuality is a massive aspect of our spiritual lives, and thus one that we tend to be passionately opinionated about. But we are not helpless. We have a habit of painting a picture of ourselves as cowering little children fixed in battle with a Goliath that we have no hope of defeating. But Christ paints a very different picture. Through Him we are empowered and equipped to overcome sexual sin. Sin which we no longer live in and which Christ overcame for us when He died in our place. Still, it is a daily battle and it is in our struggle to learn how to love, respect, and protect you as God's beautiful creation that the issue of modesty arises. It is not, or at least it should not be, our way of shirking the responsibility that we have.
We know that it is our job to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). We've no intention of blaming you and we certainly have no right to. Instead, we come to you, humbled as sinners and men in need of God, with this request:

Please help us. We have a battle to fight, and we know that in Christ we find victory. We are the men of the body of Christ and as such we are constantly learning and constantly growing. Its a new battle each day, and we sincerely desire to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. But we are not perfect. We have and we will fail. We don't mean to take away your rights and we certainly aren't asking you to fight our battles for us. We are only asking for your help. So if there is any way you, as our sisters in Him, can ease the burden of that battle, will you do it? Please?

Sincerely, an aspiring man of God





This is in response to an article by Relevant magazine that has been floating around social media lately.

The original article, titled "The Problem With Christian Cleavage" was renamed, edited, and eventually removed.

You can read the response article from Relevant here.