Theology is not for preachers and seminary students. Its not for smart people, or for deep thinkers. And no, it's not even for the Johns (Calvin, Wesley, and Piper). Theology, just like everything else, is for God. Or rather, it should be. Developing our theology should be about finding God and living in community with our Creator. We were created with the intention of walking with Him through life. We should have a desire to know Him, and our theology should be a reflection of that desire. That's the point. A means through which we glorify God by seeking an understanding of Him and His higher purpose. But that isn't always the case.
I once heard theology described as a raindrop explaining the vastness of the ocean, or the smallest of light bulbs attempting to explain what kind of socket the sun is screwed into. Accurate as that may be, I have a passion, and I will pursue it. I'm passionate about searching for my God. And I'm passionate about it because I believe the God I'm searching for wants to be found. The knowledge I'm asking for, He wants to give. And the community I desire, He created me for.
But where is my starting point? What's the foundation that I'm building off of? In my endless pursuit of the things I can't hope to understand, what is there that I can know? For a while I didn't have a clear answer for that. I could have told you that God loves me. Or that Jesus died for my sins. Those answers are honest and accurate. They are the right answers, but they feel somehow empty when staring deep into the unknown. So, over a short period of frustrated and unguided study, I've realized my foundation has to become a clear, plainly worded explanation of what is true that I can fall back on when my own understanding inevitably fails. A truth that I can repeat to myself. More than anything, I (and we all) need to be able to know who God is, even when it seems like He is at His most mysterious. Here is that bit of truth:
Hebrews 1:1-3 (NIV)
"In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, 2 but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. 3 The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven."
Think about that. "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being...". When you feel lost and confused, when you feel frustrated or helpless, and when you cannot seem to understand, look to the cross.
With that in mind, over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to articulate a portion of my search for God. The ways in which i have struggled and the things I have learned. I'm not quite twenty years old. I haven't been to a single second of college and my high school career is most definitely nothing to brag about. I am not a preacher or a seminar student. I am not a smart person or a deep thinker. I'm inexperienced, uneducated, and not much of a theologian. I am a drop of water pondering the ocean. A lightbulb desperately trying to know the sun. But I believe God has given me a passion to learn and to share. So with one more deep breath, I'm off. Here we go.
Read Part 2 here:
on theology, calvinism, and my search for God (Part 2, Scratching the Itch)
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