Turns out
it is a lot more complicated than I had ever thought. I had thought I understood
love. I knew that God loved people. I knew that my parents told me they loved
me. I knew that Jr High students had a habit of "falling in love"
that is simultaneously tragic, naive and comical. But it wasn't until I really
began to understand biblical love that my take on apologetics began to shift.
Now I want to make something as
clear as I can: I've no intention of defining love, or even making clear what love
looks like. At least not in its entirety. At this point in my story I feel
better equipped to explain what love is not. Instead the following is simply my
experience; love as the iceberg and my life the Titanic. A full and clear
understanding of love comes from a lifetime of experience pursuing Christ,
walking with Him, and studying His word.
Having
said that, my understanding of love thus far stems from many experiences and
lessons learned, but from a few in particular. The first is a social uproar
that happened only a few years back when a controversy involving Chick-Fil-A engulfed
the media. Following statements by Chick-Fil-A head honcho S. Truett Cathy that
were seen as "anti-gay", society began attacking the company and
numerous protests were staged. As many people probably remember, one of the
most notable protests was a day organized by those in the LGBT community to make
a show of their affection for each other in numerous Chick-Fil-A stores. Naturally
there were bound to be retaliations. One such counter-protest was organized by
Mike Huckabee and set to take place on August 1st as a Chick-Fil-A
appreciation day in which people all over America were encouraged to go and eat
at the restaurant to show their support. Enter me, and my strong opinions.
The youth
group at my church, which I was then a part of, went on a retreat to a small
ranch in Nebraska. One of the nights, while sitting around a small campfire, my
youth pastor brought up the controversy, and the "Chick-Fil-A appreciation
day" that was being organized through the media, asking us to respond. We
all responded about how he expected. There were cries like "this is
America!" and "they're trying to take away people's right to have opinions!”
My own thoughts on the matter were along the same lines. I believed that a
person's beliefs should not be publicly punished, and that as Americans we had
the right to live by our own faith. Christianity, as it happens, does not approve
of same-sex relationships. So if we claim to be Christians, neither should we.
Right?
Right,
but as my youth pastor quickly pointed out, if Chick-Fil-A is a company
considered by many to be hating on the LGBT community, and we make a show as Christians
of supporting that, what does that tell people about Christianity? Does eating
a chicken sandwich in the name of freedom and sexual morality really display
Christ's love to the lost? Much to my own frustration, the answer to that was
no. I remember very clearly the battle that went on in my mind. My heart and
mind were doing battle. I knew that we were supposed to love the lost, but
weren't we also supposed to take a stand against what is wrong? Not to mention
the fact that my inner patriotism wanted desperately to fight against any
restriction of somebody's freedom of religion and speech. “But love” said the
nagging voice of my youth pastor. “Where is the love?”
I was
dumfounded. He couldn’t possibly be right. It was my right, or rather, my duty
to stand up for morality and to support the beliefs of my fellow Christians. And
yet he was right. There was no denying it, try as I might. For the first time I
was starting to look past the argument and the fight and into the heart of the
situation. But I was lost. If I didn’t have my arguments and defenses what was
I to do with my faith in the face of an unbelieving world? I was in limbo and it
quickly became apparent that it was time to reexamine my faith and the
foundation that it was built on. I knew who my God was and I knew who I was to
Him, but I didn’t know what to do anymore. If my life ceased to be around
proving my faith, what was I to do with it? To be continued
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