on theology, calvinism, and my search for God (Part 2, Scratching the Itch)

Read part 1 here:
on theology, calvinism, and my search for God (Part 1, What's the point?)


In a book that I recently read, and loved, Austn Fischer decribed the intricacies of his theological journey. At one point he talked about what he calls the "more itch". It's the craving for a deeper faith. The need to discover more and to being learning and growing. The powerful desire to dig below the surface of Christianity. For many of us, and for Fischer, it is the cause of our start down the winding road of big words and complicated theology. It causes us to start asking the hard questions and really seeking the answers. It is the realization that there is always more to discover and more to wrestle with. Or so it was for me.
Growing up in the church left me with an attitude that many church kids like me will relate to. I had heard all the stories, listened to the sermons, and collected all the right answers. I was fluent in christianese, I knew how to behave in a church setting, and yes, I would vote Republican when I grew up, because we all know Jesus is a Republican. But at some point I started to come to the realization that faith is not simple. Life is hard, God is complicated, and I had questions. I was starting to get the "more itch".
I remember a particular friend of mine in jr high that told me once that he was an atheist. He told me he believed we evolved and that science had proved it. This wasn't a new concept to me, after all I had been in public school for the majority of my life. Still, it was the first time I had considered how to respond. How do I argue with science? How could I possibly convince my friend he was wrong when all the evidence seemed to be on his side? For that matter, why would I stand behind my beliefs if I couldn't even defend them? And so I studied. I read books, I listened to sermons, I watched debates and I collected facts. Slowly but surely I began to build up a foundation of facts on which to construct my defense and my arguments. Like a blacksmith crafting a sword, I was carefully crafting the weapons I would use to tear apart those who dissagreed with me. Needless to say, my attitude about the situation needed some serous work, but it was nonetheless a big step into what I now know is called apologetics.
The word "apologetics" comes from the Greek word "apologia" which means "to give a defense". It implies a defense supported by specific reasons, thought and rationality. I became dedicated to exactly that. I suddenly had come up with well thought out, rational arguments in favor of my faith. I took on 1 Peter 3:15 as my life motto and started every day ready to go into battle to defend my God. But in all my studies I never addressed the last part of that verse.

 1 Peter 3:15 NIV

       "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"

Gentleness and respect. Ouch. I never was particularly great at either of those. I was argumentative, stuborn, and my motives had much less to do with advancing the gospel and much more to do with my own pride. In my furious attempts to defend God and win arguments, I was missing out on the reality of who that very God is. Apologetics helped me scratch the itch, but in the end I felt as if I had accomplished nothing. Something was missing. Something much more real and much more satisfying. And thank God I found it.

Read part 3 here:
on theology, calvinism and my search for God (part 3, The L-Word)

on theology, calvinism, and my search for God (Part 1, What's the point?)

       Theology is not for preachers and seminary students. Its not for smart people, or for deep thinkers. And no, it's not even for the Johns (Calvin, Wesley, and Piper). Theology, just like everything else, is for God. Or rather, it should be. Developing our theology should be about finding God and living in community with our Creator. We were created with the intention of walking with Him through life. We should have a desire to know Him, and our theology should be a reflection of that desire. That's the point. A means through which we glorify God by seeking an understanding of Him and His higher purpose. But that isn't always the case.
       I once heard theology described as a raindrop explaining the vastness of the ocean, or the smallest of light bulbs attempting to explain what kind of socket the sun is screwed into. Accurate as that may be, I have a passion, and I will pursue it. I'm passionate about searching for my God. And I'm passionate about it because I believe the God I'm searching for wants to be found. The knowledge I'm asking for, He wants to give. And the community I desire, He created me for.
       But where is my starting point? What's the foundation that I'm building off of? In my endless pursuit of the things I can't hope to understand, what is there that I can know? For a while I didn't have a clear answer for that. I could have told you that God loves me. Or that Jesus died for my sins. Those answers are honest and accurate. They are the right answers, but they feel somehow empty when staring deep into the unknown. So, over a short period of frustrated and unguided study, I've realized my foundation has to become a clear, plainly worded explanation of what is true that I can fall back on when my own understanding inevitably fails. A truth that I can repeat to myself. More than anything, I (and we all) need to be able to know who God is, even when it seems like He is at His most mysterious. Here is that bit of truth:

Hebrews 1:1-3 (NIV)
       "In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, 2 but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. 3 The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven."

       Think about that. "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being...". When you feel lost and confused, when you feel frustrated or helpless, and when you cannot seem to understand, look to the cross.
       With that in mind, over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to articulate a portion of my search for God. The ways in which i have struggled and the things I have learned. I'm not quite twenty years old. I haven't been to a single second of college and my high school career is most definitely nothing to brag about. I am not a preacher or a seminar student. I am not a smart person or a deep thinker. I'm inexperienced, uneducated, and not much of a theologian. I am a drop of water pondering the ocean. A lightbulb desperately trying to know the sun. But I believe God has given me a passion to learn and to share. So with one more deep breath, I'm off. Here we go.




Read Part 2 here:
on theology, calvinism, and my search for God (Part 2, Scratching the Itch)

on good music, good coffee, and good......clothes?

       I'm keeping it simple again this week. There are three organizations that I have recently become very fond of, making up two different minitries. I thought I would share them with you today. So if you are at all fond of rap music, coffee, dope clothing, or spreading the gospel, then check these ministries out.



Humble Beast Records

       Humble Beast is a music label that has been putting out fantastic rap music for years. A lot of my favorite artist work under this ministry. Propaganda, Eshon Bergundy, and Braille to name a few. All of the men and women who work with the organization are dedicated to glorifying God through excellence in art and the spreading of the gospel. But the one aspect of this community of creators that really sets them apart might surprise you. All of the music released through Humble Beast is released for free. Yes. Free. No strings attached. Their policy has always been to create to the best of their ability, and then give it away. To download any of their music, or to find out more about Humble Beast, check out www.humblebeast.com
Also I highly recommend checking out Eshon Burgundy's new album "The Fear of God". By far the best album I've heard in several years



Left Roasters

       Although not an entirely seperate organization, I am absolutely a HUGE fan of Left. They currently offer four coffee varieties, roasted fresh and delivered promptly. Not only is the coffee amazing (I've tried three of their four types, because what even is the point of decaf?), but Left is a division of Humble Beast. Purchasing their coffee will help support their ministy. Check them out at www.leftroasters.com (their Kochere is currently my favorite coffee)



Grateful Apparel

       Grateful is a clothing brand started by Raymond Rivera that centers around the idea that we as Christians have so much to constantly be grateful for. The brand supports a ministry called the 3Sixty House which is dedicated to helping recovering addicts get clean and find Christ. Raymond, the Grateful brand, and the 3Sixty Houses are dedicated to living out the great commision. To check out more about them, and the products you can buy to support them hit up www.gratefulapparel.com

on stopping to take a breath (and crying like a man).

       My life has been a whirlwind of time consuming obligations lately and, unfortunately, that means I've had to put my blog on the back burner for a while. Writing has always been my way of processing my thoughts and fleshing out my ideas and opinions, so I have definitely not stopped writing. It's the editing and refining process that takes time and has just not been as important to me as the other things going on in my life. I'm learning that I am one of those people who likes to take on everything I can, and as a result I tend to get overwhelmed by the sheer weight of all the things that I get involved in. And I love it. But occassionally I have to shave off some of the less important things in my life in order to check my stress levels and keep from getting too burned out. In short, sometimes I have to come up and take a breath before I dive back in.
       But for those of you who still follow this blog, I'm back! And hopefully for a while.  I have a number of posts I've been working on for a while, so brace yourselves!

       As for this week, I will keep it simple. I'm in the process of finishing up a book by Max Lucado that I have absolutely loved. It's a phenominal book that centers entirely around the crucifiction of Christ. If you are interested in reading this book you can find it here, or get ahold of me and I will find a way to get a copy of it into your hands.
       As I was getting ready to write this post I also just finished reading through a particularly powerful section of the book that I wanted to share. In part two of the book Max Lucado examines the cross from the point of view of it's witnesses. The last of those witnesses that he discusses are what he calls "miniature messengers".
     
       Here is that passage. Enjoy, and see you next tuesday!

       "Tears.

       Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet
balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our
cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts. They were
there that day. They are always present at such times. They
should be that’s their job. They are miniature messengers;
on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled
words. They drip, drop, and pour from the comer of our
souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we pos-
sess. They tumble down our faces with announcements
that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair.

       The principle is simple; when words are most
empty, tears are most apt.

       A tearstain on a letter says much more than the
sum of all its words. A tear falling on a casket says what a
spoken farewell never could. What summons a mother’s
compassion and concern more quickly than a tear on a
child’s cheek? What gives more support than a sympathe-
tic tear on the face of a friend?

       Words failed the day the Savior was slain. They
failed miserably. What words could have been uttered?
What phrases could have possibly expressed the feelings
of those involved?

       That task, my friend, was left for the tears.

       What do you do when words won’t come? When
all the nouns and verbs lay deflated at your feet, with what
do you communicate? When even the loftiest statements
stumble, what do you do? Are you one of the fortunate
who isn’t ashamed to let a tear take over? Can you be so
happy that your eyes water and your throat swells? Can
you be so proud that your pupils blur and your vision mists?
And in sorrow, do you let your tears decompress
that tight chest and untie that knot in your throat?

       Or do you reroute your tears and let them only
fall on the inside?

       Not many of us are good at showing our feelings,
you know. Especially us fellows. Oh, we can yell and curse
and smoke, yessir! But tears? “Save those for the weak-
kneed and timid. I’ve got a world to conquer!”

       We would do well, guys, to pause and look at the
tearstained faces that appear at the cross.

       Peter. The burly fisherman. Strong enough to
yank a full net out of the sea. Brave enough to weather the
toughest storm. The man who only hours before had
bared his sword against the entire Roman guard. But now
look at him. Weeping, no . . . wailing. Huddled in a corner
with his face hidden in his calloused hands. Would a real
man be doing this? Admitting his fault? Confessing his
failure? Begging forgiveness? Or would a real man bottle
it up . . . justify it. . . rationalize it. . . keep a “stiff upper
lip” and stand his ground. Has Peter lost his manhood?
We know better, don’t we. Maybe he’s less a man of the
world, but less a man of God? No way.

       And John, look at his tears. His face swollen with
sorrow as he stands eye-level with the bloody feet of his
Master. Is his emotion a lack of courage? Is his despair a
lack of guts?

       And the tears of Jesus. They came in the garden.
I'm sure they came on the cross. Are they a sign of weak-
ness? Do those stains on his cheeks mean he had no fire in
his belly or grit in his gut?

       Of course not.

       Here’s the point. It’s not just tears that are the
issue, it’s what they represent. They represent the heart,
the spirit, and the soul of a person. To put a lock and key
on your emotions is to bury part of your Christ-likeness!

       Especially when you come to Calvary.
You can’t go to the cross with just your head and
not your heart. It doesn’t work that way. Calvary is not a
mental trip. It’s not an intellectual exercise. It’s not a divine
calculation or a cold theological principle.
     
       It's a heart-splitting hour of emotion.

       Don’t walk away from it dry-eyed and unstirred.
Don’t just straighten your tie and clear your throat. Don’t
allow yourself to descend Calvary cool and collected.

       Please . . . pause. Look again.

       Those are nails in those hands.

       That’s God on that cross.

       It’s us who put him there.

       Peter knew it. John knew it. Mary knew it.

       They knew a great price was being paid. They
knew who really pierced his side. They also somehow
knew that history was being remade.

       That’s why they wept.

       They saw the Savior.

       God, may we never be so “educated,” may we
never be so “mature,” may we never be so “religious” that
we can see your passion without tears."

- Max Lucado, No Wonder They Call Him the Savior
pg. 106-108

The Story Chapter 19

The Story Teen Edition Chapter 19

Its important to realize that God does not falter or change. He is constant and his nature, while complex, is reliable. He, unlike us, does not change who he is. Through scripture we can identify and take refuge in God's consistent character. Let's examine, through chapter 19, two truths about God and what they mean to us.

God...

1) Is faithful

Two weeks ago we learned about the prophet Jeremiah whom God used to speak to His people. A very famous, albeit misinterpreted, prophecy given through Jeremiah can be read in Jeremiah 29:10-11

"This is what the Lord says: 'When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future' "

So what became of this promise?

Ch. 19 video, pause at 0:40

God made good on His promise and brought His people back home and out of captivity through King Cyrus.

Why is this significant?
We can see that God will not promise something and then fail to deliver it.

In what ways do or don't our actions determine whether God follows through on a promise?
They don't. God is faithful despite and in the midst of our unfaithfulness.

We are not exiled Jews, so God's promise through Jeremiah being fulfilled may not seem significant in the here and now. What Promises has God made to you?
Look for discussion, especially with respect to God's promise of eternal life through Christ. Titus 1: 2-3

Why is it important to know that God will keep His word when He promises something?
We build our faith on the foundation of the gift of Christ. We must know that our salvation comes from a God who is always faithful. It's also helpful in further understanding God's heart, and the fact that God...


2) Desires to be with us.

Finish Ch. 19 video. Restart from beginning.

God brings the Israelites back home and provides them with the resources with which to rebuild the temple that the Babylonians had destroyed.

Why is the temple important?
The temple was where God dwelt among his people. Notice that God did not simply bring home the Israelites and allow them to rebuild the temple, but instead brought them home for the purpose of rebuilding the Temple in Jerusalem.

The construction of the temple halted for a whole 16 years. What had clearly been a priority for God ceased to be so for his people. God sent word through his prophets (Haggai especially) that the Israelites failed to find prosperity in their home land because God's house still remained in ruins. Thus, He instructed them to immediately finish the temple construction.

Haggai 1: 6-8
" 'You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.'
This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'Give careful thought to our ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,' says the Lord."

What does this passage say about God's priorities? What does it say about how we should respond to God's calling when it doesn't line up with our priorities?

Pray and close.

on modesty.

An open letter to women everywhere:

I'd like to speak on behalf of the men of the body of Christ. Let me start by apologizing. The conversation about modesty has largely been handled very badly by men, myself included. We can be harsh, insensitive, and unfair. I've heard numerous female friends of mine say that they have felt guilty, restricted, judged, and all around burdened, as if the weight of controlling the desires of men hangs over them at all times. Let me apologize on behalf of myself and the men of the church. I'm sorry. That's not your burden to bear and it is wrong of us to put that on you.
That being said, I feel that we as men often walk away leaving you feeling as if you have to battle our temptations for us. It's a touchy subject for everybody and as a result discussing it often ends in hurt, offended, and irritated men and women walking away having not accomplished anything. And while I do have my opinions on the subject, I don't believe it is my place to tell you where your responsibility is or is not. So I want to approach this from a different angle. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to try to earnestly express where I, and many men, are coming from. Please understand that the only reason we insist on talking about modesty is that you are precious to us. We as humans, and human men at that, are fighting daily to love you in a God honoring way. Our intention is never to burden you with our responsibilities.
You've heard people tell you how men are pigs. That we are sex-crazed, and we only have one thing on our mind. But you should also know that many of us are genuinely pursuing a Christ-like attitude towards women and sexuality. We are struggling to block out the world and the sex culture that constantly berates us from all sides. It's a constant battle. The Bible tells us that we are to love our wives as Christ loved us. I may not be married, but as a single Christian guy who does one day intend to be married, I am striving to be that kind of man. But I am imperfect. I am sinful and I am "a full time fool who occasionally dabbles in getting it right" (Scott Evans, Failing from the Front). I am locked in a lifelong battle against my sin nature as I strive to live in a way that glorifies God and His creation.
It's a new battle everyday. Some days I win, and some days I feel as if I've been beaten to a pulp and ruthlessly ravaged until it's all I can do to crawl back into bed and pray for the strength to rise again in the morning. Sexuality is a massive aspect of our spiritual lives, and thus one that we tend to be passionately opinionated about. But we are not helpless. We have a habit of painting a picture of ourselves as cowering little children fixed in battle with a Goliath that we have no hope of defeating. But Christ paints a very different picture. Through Him we are empowered and equipped to overcome sexual sin. Sin which we no longer live in and which Christ overcame for us when He died in our place. Still, it is a daily battle and it is in our struggle to learn how to love, respect, and protect you as God's beautiful creation that the issue of modesty arises. It is not, or at least it should not be, our way of shirking the responsibility that we have.
We know that it is our job to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). We've no intention of blaming you and we certainly have no right to. Instead, we come to you, humbled as sinners and men in need of God, with this request:

Please help us. We have a battle to fight, and we know that in Christ we find victory. We are the men of the body of Christ and as such we are constantly learning and constantly growing. Its a new battle each day, and we sincerely desire to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. But we are not perfect. We have and we will fail. We don't mean to take away your rights and we certainly aren't asking you to fight our battles for us. We are only asking for your help. So if there is any way you, as our sisters in Him, can ease the burden of that battle, will you do it? Please?

Sincerely, an aspiring man of God





This is in response to an article by Relevant magazine that has been floating around social media lately.

The original article, titled "The Problem With Christian Cleavage" was renamed, edited, and eventually removed.

You can read the response article from Relevant here.

on faith and God centered attitudes.

The Story Teen Edition Chapter 16

Two interwoven stories taking place:
Hezekiah and Isaiah

Hezekiah:
Israel again turns to false idols and away from God. As a result, the Israelites are exiled to Assyria. The nation of Judah, however, remains faithful and King Hezekiah leads them in the way of the Lord.

Ch. 16 video

What stands out to you about the story of Hezekiah and the Assyrians?
How does Hezekiah respond to the threats against Jerusalem?

King Hezekiah faced and incredible threat as the Assyrian army stood at his doorstep. Regardless, he remained faithful (not and easy task) and brought the matter directly to God in prayer.

How hard is it for us to have this kind of faith?

2 Kings 19:14-19

14 Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord. 15 And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: “Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. 16 Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God. 17 “It is true, Lord, that the Assyrian kings have laid waste these nations and their lands.18 They have thrown their gods into the fire and destroyed them, for they were not gods but only wood and stone, fashioned by human hands. 19 Now, Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone, Lord, are God.”

How does Hezekiah approach God?

Hezekiah comes humbly before God acknowledging who God is and what He is capable of. He then asks God to deliver His people and make clear "to all the kingdoms of the earth...that you alone, Lord, are God". His prayer is not out of fear nor is it for the sake of self-preservation. Rather he asks that God would reveal and glorify Himself.

What is a time when you have felt opposition?
How should we approach God when we face opposition?
Is it easy to have this attitude?



Isaiah:
Isaiah was a well established prophet of God by the time Hezekiah became King. The Lord spoke through him numerous times (the book of Isaiah...). It's important to note that while Isaiah played a major role in the story of Hezekiah and the Assyrians, his ministry went far beyond that one instance. In fact large portion of Isaiah's prophesies directly foretold the coming of Christ

The Story Pages 228-230
Isaiah says many things about the Savior that is to come. Throw out some descriptions about this Savior that stand out to you.

Take some time and pray in gratitude for God's provision of all that was prophesied.